show the world

(You can do it.)

Image from poignant.

Was hiccuping like a frog just now (yeah weird analogy).
Anyway my stomach is full of water cause I just spammed water to stop to hiccups but it didn't work.
So yeah a little sad.

I felt bad for the moodswing in class today.
Sorry to whoever's really very enthu about class outing but I seriously need the time to study for MEP prelims, which by the way is next week.
No more next month/next next week.
So yeah I mean okay I was quite pissed off at the comment that mugging is not a reason to skip class outing as if it's some compulsory forced school event or something.
But okay from the POV of those planning I would have wanted as many people to go as possible.
Yeah sorry for the moodswing I believe it's all thanks to PMS >:(

So sleepy I can't concentrate on Chem which is quite bad cause tomorrow's the test.
And it's a lot to memorise.
Plus there's that band thing which is bugging me like okay why do I have to choose why can't someone choose it for me.
Help help help.
And okay I don't deny I was pissed off at you for not even wanting to listen to me but instead wanting to listen about Chem.
Which is why I dislike (extremely) your class.
What's so good about mugging I mean is it so important to study and not have a social life?
Whatever I kind of hate overachievers actually.
So extreme and so self-centered at times and I mean I'm not saying you shouldn't study but you shouldn't study as if it's your entire life right.
Like okay great test next week let's start mugging else we'll lose to other people.
Wth but really I just feel like ranting this out.
I mean why are you so desperate to be the best at something?
Or at least if you're planning to keep it to yourself I don't want to know.

I hate being sucked into all those serious discussions about Physics theories and Chem formulas and what not when we're supposed to have fun and relax.
There's a time for everything right?

Or let's just admit it, I have moodswings and therefore I feel such emotions more strongly than any other occasions.
But really, what's wrong with people?
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More ranting. You guys should just ignore my raving madness.
But I can't stand your passiveness.
Like as if I don't mean a fucking thing to you and you mean the world to me.
I'm important to you, that's what you say, but it doesn't feel like it.
It feels like I'm being cheated of something and I don't know what.
Been trying to convince myself to cool down and give you space and let you be and I can't freaking do it.
I have no resolve I have no inner strength I always succumb to my lousy screwed up mind.
I've already let one go, but he doesn't matter much anyway.
Just that, it's gonna be a million times harder letting you go.
And as previous efforts have shown, it always fails.
But I always want to try, and now I'm so tired to try.
I hate it how you can relate so well to others but not to me when I really try to give you my 101% attention.
And I can't even seem to find someone else I can relate to.
Except to that wide open space and I don't even know who the hell will be reading this.

I'm really really freaking sick of this game/relationship/whatever we are doing.
Like I have no feelings whatsoever and therefore it's okay to reject me cause it's easier.
Wonderful okay whatever you know what, you win.
You always do.