Images from nathh@tumblr.
Finally the holidays are here. Really happy about it. Or at least, I think I'm happy about it. Because my dopamine pathway (or whatever that is that controls level of happiness) seems to be going a little haywire. It's like after SSEF and all that, when I know I should be feeling so happy and free but I don't. Not really. Not that kind of unlimited freedom and joy that resonates all the way down to your toes.
I still remember there was a time when I can get happy for no good reason. Feels like little bubbles of happiness going up and down in you and you just feel like laughing and smiling for everything in the world. Shall just chalk the lack of emotions (or at least, positive emotions) to fatigue and accumulated stress.
And I guess if you haven't heard yet, we got a merit for SSEF. It was a good experience I guess. The first time I entered SSEF I had a super horribly ugly poster, a really clueless brain and a lack of answering skills. This time I entered with a poster that took days and nights to finish, brain filled with information (regardless of whether it is useful or not) and lots of presentation skills that carried on after PW. I'm really proud of the fact that we did most of the work ourselves, instead of getting the award just because we have a really brilliant mentor that focuses on research, and also having great facilities to work with. The best part of it all is that Yijia's group did really well too, so it's like a cause for celebration :D
So after my two days of absence from school, I had to go back and finish just that last day to make my term 1 seem complete. I have to admit that I was feeling pretty lost (it's amazing how much you can miss both in academics and social terms just in 2 days) but time just went on ticking despite the lousy state of mind. And it kind of dawns on me that no matter how bad the situation is, you can always just close one eye and it'll still move on. Though I believe (or to put it more accurately, know) that I have a lot to catch up with.
And I actually stayed back to help out for PTM. Not that I intended to skip, but more like I keep forgetting about it between time intervals. So I got stuck with carpark duties again, and I just feel so ridiculous because my role is somewhat like telling people how to park their cars when I can't even drive ._. And the traffic was really chaotic because you don't know if they are just waiting for people or coming for PTM. But like I said, it was eventually over. Talked with Mr Lim and realised he's actually really cool. Like you know, I always have this phobia of talking to teachers of subjects that I do really badly in because I'm afraid if I say something wrong (especially for subjects like GP and Econs when things are so... obvious) they'll give you that skeptical look and probably scorn you secretly. Scary thought.
So looking at this coming holiday, it's really going to be a long one, because firstly my relatives are coming and I already had a list of activities and work lined up, so it's kinda going to disrupt my timetable. Work wise I guess I won't be doing much of it over the weekend because there wouldn't be space and also because I need to take a little break, as well as to go out and catch up with friends. Then Monday and Tuesday will be going back to school for makeup lectures and makeup lessons, Wednesday is free day, Thursday and Friday will be at SMU doing CIP (which is meaningful in a way I guess). Saturday and Sunday will be spent on SS camp and Medsoc gathering and then I'm done with CCA for the rest of the year.
I actually wanted to catch up with work (and even go a little forward) over the holidays but things just keep popping out of nowhere. So I need to work doubly hard (hopefully my motivation will fly back soon) and get more rest to recharge for Term 2. Because Mr Lim highlighted that my GP marks are having a decreasing trend :/ Shall prove him wrong next term! And also to pull my econs essay from a ranking 3 to a ranking 2 ._.
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