and it's coming fast

(I'll be waiting.)

Nope, the caption is not random.
I'm feeling pretty low now.
And this is going to be a self-reflective post so shut up even if you have comments.
Don't have to read it you know, it's not obligatory.

I have no idea how I can tolerate this. It's like totally, snatching away people I care for. You probably won't know that I don't like to talk to people much. You probably won't know that I don't have much confidantes. You probably won't know when someone means something to me, they mean something to me. You have no idea at all, do you? Or maybe you do and you still go ahead and do it anyway, not giving a damn to what I feel and what I think. You can say you are insecure, you can say you need her as much as I do, but guess what? Because of you, I have more reasons than you to feel insecure. Because of you, I can't find her when I need her. You think that I don't treat her as well as you do because I'm forever occupied with something else. You think that I take my studies, my CCA, SC, whatever, more seriously that I take her. You are so damn wrong. Just because I don't go around telling everybody how insecure I feel, how empty I feel, doesn't mean I'm alright with you doing such things to me. The way you are forever looking out for her, not others, totally irks me. Call me selfish if you want, but you don't know how hurtful it is when someone you care about is getting distant from you, do you? You ignored your friend, your good friend, and not tell her the reason, leaving her sad and confused for what, nearly 2 years? You give lame excuses, or rather, avoid the whole topic because you don't want to tell anybody the reason for ignoring her. And what's more, she still cared for you even though you ignored her, avoid her whenever you see her, while you're there thinking all the negative stuff about her. That's really, really downright stupid. If I have a friend like her, I will so totally cherish her. But now it gets better. You just have to make sure you're on good terms with her, you just have to make sure she talks about you non-stop, you just have to make sure she spends more time with you instead of me? It's not like I have much free time anyway, so I don't see why you have to stoop to such level. It's not by choice that I am in SYF, it's not by choice SC wants a meeting every wednesday, it's not by choice I am in MEP. And I'm really really sick of you. And so damn tired of trying to act like nothing is the matter, trying to act like I'm secure, trying to act like I don't care what's happening, or even trying to act like I don't know what you're doing. You don't have to say it out, I can feel it. The way you act, the way you speak, everything.

You know what? I don't think I'll ever get over this.
Fuck it, why is my social life so screwed?