why do we say things we can't take back

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Why do we say things we can't take back,
Why do we miss what we never had.

- "Lost Then Found" by Leona Lewis Ft. One Republic.

I wonder what's happening to me, to us, to everything. This sounds like some problem I'm always strugling with, something I'm always whining about and not doing anything about it. All the half-hearted attempts to put things right seem to evaporate into thin air.

But I'm quite sure I've grown up, changed, become someone different. I'm not going to say how inferior I am because I know how lucky I am. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I accept them. I'm going to love myself for who I am because there's only one of me, and I have to live with myself for the rest of my life.

I want what's best for everyone, I really do. But when I give too much, I tend to expect more back. It's hard to understand that not everyone sees things the way I do, and it's even harder to register and make sure my entire mind knows it.

You taught me how to see things from people's perspectives, and I tried to. I can see that you're frustrated, you're down and you're not in a good mood. Maybe that's why you can't see how hard I'm trying to make your life a bit better. Either that or I don't mean as much as I thought I do to you, because if he was to do the same thing as I did, I'm sure you'll feel really happy.

Some things are really hard to say, especially for someone like me who can't express myself exactly the way I want. To be honest, I don't even know what I want sometimes, and I'm really sorry to be bringing you around in circles. But I'll still try my best to be a good friend, because that's something I'm really quite sure I want to be. Not enemies, acquaintances, anything, but just friends. It doesn't matter what circumstances I've met you under, I guess what's more important is how we move on from here.

It's hard, I must admit, to love someone when they are unlovable, but it's also when they need love the most. I hope you'll be able to do the same for me when I'm the unlovable one next time.